Change

So, this is the first post in my new blog. I decided pretty spur-of-the-moment to start one, but it seemed like something that made sense. I like to write, I think I have a good voice for it and have interesting things to say.

SO, where am I right now in my life? I'm going to be 27 in about a month and a half. I'm living in Boca Raton, FL, which isn't exactly the place I'd love to be, speaking purely geographically. I'm from Pittsburgh, PA and actually just came back from a week-long trip back there to see my family and generally avoid spending money for a little while. I'm a third year MFA student at Florida Atlantic University, but I'm actually done with my class work in terms of being a student. I'm an Adjunct Faculty member this term, and I'm lucky enough to be teaching two sections of Acting 1, along with teaching younger kids improvisational performing at another local studio. I just found out yesterday that I'm actually going to be a lot more financially stable than I thought I would be for these next few months, which is nice. Life is actually pretty good right now, all things considered.

Of course I'm lucky. I live where I do, I have money to support myself, I'm hard-working enough to have developed usable skills that I can be paid for. I really do enjoy teaching. I feel like I'm pretty good at it. At the same time, I feel kind of restless. I want to be in a show again. I miss it, even though the last ones I did were just about a month ago, really. It bugs me that I haven't been cast yet.

I'm a pretty restless person. That might surprise you if you know me. I can very rarely just sit down and relax. Usually my mind is working on what I should be doing rather than relaxing. I enjoy that this has made me hard-working. I don't enjoy that it's difficult for me to turn off.

I'm also great at worrying. You name it, I can worry about it and then probably feel guilty about it. These are all things that I know about myself, along with other realizations that are a little more personal. Going through the crucible of Graduate School, though, has made me feel much more comfortable with myself and able to recognize my strengths. I'm smart. I'm kind. I'm funny. I'm fast at thinking on my feet. I can even say I'm a little more able to accept it when someone tells me I was a leader in my Grad Class.

That's probably the purpose of this first blog entry, I'd say. To say to anyone who reads this and especially anyone from FAU who does that, even with the stress that is a large part of our training, and, indeed, because of it, I've definitely emerged as a changed person. I'm a better actor and person from my time here. I can only speak for myself in saying that, which is all that anyone can do.

I've had the pleasure to meet and interact with the new Grad Class at FAU these past few days and will have the chance to be around them for at least this next term. I remember the anxiety and excitement of the feeling of the beginning of that journey. I remember forming first impressions, some of which turned out to be accurate, some of which were complete misses. I remember our "official" meeting and then the unofficial meeting with the Then-Third Years, and feeling a little dictated to afterwards. Hopefully those of us who've been interacting with them the past few days have had the opposite effect and being a welcoming presence.

I'm definitely going to miss being at school and in rehearsal until I get into a show myself. I have auditions upcoming. I have the confidence in myself to say it's more a matter of when and not if. I'll miss people and I miss them already, to a certain extent.

It is time to be more of an adult, though, I think. That's fine with me. I think, if you asked a lot of people, they'd say I act like I'm 40 anyways. It's time to be an adult. That means being responsible for myself and only myself, which is a relief. It also means responsibility, which I feel I can handle very well. So, I'm open to it. I'm an adult and I'm ready for my life.

Great luck to the new Grads at FAU! Hope that your journey is an amazing one! Let me know if I can be of any help along the way!