I have to confess I'm pretty lonely after this first week back at school. It's what I worried about, really. My classes are fine and I enjoy teaching them and everything. I'm glad to see the new Grad Students doing well and getting themselves settled in. They're all at callbacks for the first show of the year right now. It's nice to be back on campus and be seeing everyone...
I'm lonely, though. I feel pretty isolated. Even Cassie and Candace, who are doing what I'm doing, I don't see much. I'm on my own a lot. Right now, at least, on Monday and Wednesdays I don't have anything to do. I mean, I have two jobs, teaching at FAU and at Standing Ovation, and I have Financial Aid coming, so financially I'm actually going to be all right. Right now I'm just bored and lonely.
Complain, complain. I'll obviously find something to do. Some project that'll occupy my time. Honesty Project will probably do that once it gets approved by the Department.
I miss it, is what it comes down to. I miss it. I miss being in class all day. I miss the hustle and bustle of it. I miss seeing people all day, every day. I miss being the focus of the faculty's attention. I miss shop... a little, mainly in that it provided me with an easy way to talk to women other than the women in my class. I miss it.
That's where I am right now, I guess. I decorated my apartment to look more at home for myself. I still don't have much of anywhere for people to sit, but I think I want to have a party sometime soon at my place.
I feel lonely and isolated. I miss it.
I'm a solutions person. It drives Steve crazy because sometimes he just wants to vent, and he thinks I don't sympathize or empathize enough because I immediately jump to brainstorming solutions rather than just being there to listen. So, if you're not looking for brainstorming solutions, read no further, and imagine me listening and nodding in sympathy/empathy.
ReplyDelete1. CALL STEVE!! Especially on weeknights, especially after I leave for Russia. Believe me, he will sympathize with you!
2. Continue with the Creating A Life Worth Living book. You're already way ahead of me, with your Honesty Project (which is AWESOME!!), but I'm sure there are tons of other activities/ideas in there that can keep you occupied.
3. Organize groups of people to do things. This is something that I'm not very comfortable doing, but people are usually really receptive to it. I've had people over for game nights, or TV nights, or things like that. Sometimes you have to get really specific with times and places and RSVP's (getting people to COMMIT rather than letting them be vague - i.e. "Football night, my house, 7pm. It will just me you and me and Philbert and JimBob, so let me know if you can't come and I'll invite somebody else" as opposed to "Anybody want to do anything tonight?")
4. Keep yourself surrounded by people, like reading on campus (which I've seen you do), rather than hanging out alone in your apartment. Somehow, it's less lonely when you're in public, especially if you do some people-watching while you're at it, or manage to start a conversation with somebody sitting near you.
5. Does your apartment allow pets? Get a pet. There are cheaper and easier pets than a cat or a dog, like a fish, rodent of some kind, or reptile of some kind. I could see you with a box turtle. They're not as good for company as a cat or dog, but they'll do in a pinch. I used to talk to my hamster all the time when I was living alone in L.A.
6. Make lists. Lists of goals, lists of ideas, lists of things you can see around you, lists of feelings, (lists of Presidents in order... OK, maybe not...) I think it helps to get inspired this way -- and then take action in some way on one or more of the things on the list. Like if you're making lists of dreams you have, find a way to take a step toward one of them. Or if you're making lists of the things you see around you, turn the list into a poem.
7. Write letters or e-mails to friends and/or family. Sometimes, they'll write you back, and that can really brighten up your day.
8. What's the deal with undergrad improv? Are you still involved with that? If you're not, you should be. You're a great resource for them while you're here, and I know you enjoy it, so make it happen. If you organize it, they'll be involved, I'm sure of it.
Hmmm, I think I'm done for now. And do know that I sympathize with you, too. I miss you guys. If I could've, I would've found away to make those last 2 years last forever -- and if you hear of anyone hiring "professional grad student," PLEASE let me know.